If I am not Morgana
by Renee Murrhog
Summary: Grabbed from her own reality to a parallel universe with no one/nothing is ever familiar to her, she is forced to mingle with the enemy -Gwaine. But Gwaine sees her as his girlfriend. Will she trust him or take advantage of him?


In the north, there was only cold. Ice. Water and hail. Mordred, mordred, mordred, the name kept repeating itself as I walk through these snow. I feel like walking bare foot on the snow and I couldn't even feel my face. I snugged my cloak closer for warmth.. Mordred.. mordred.. that name.. the memories keep crashing down on me like a waterfall. My eyebrows knit together, I swear, I have lots of wrinkles there since I always frown. Never smiling. Ever. All I could ever have is sadness, hatred and loneliness.

In this dark dark gloomy world I lived in the shadows. Avoiding the light, kept in a corner and just wait. Waiting for something to happen.. waiting for hope. A chance that even if it is small as a pea, I'd take it. I'd crawl into it if I have to. I was alone, I've drilled it into my brain that no one No one could ever be trusted. The people who have magic have either died or betrayed me. No one could ever be trusted. No one. But that all changed, when that stinky warrior of a king brought me new slaves from the West. I couldn't have cared less. I usually waved them all of them to enter the damn cave so this key that everyone's been talking about can be found. But something felt slightly out of place, I scanned each of the newcomers' faces and there he was. That stinky warrior king kept blubbering his mouth and about that I could smell his god-awful ugh..

"..Morgana?" the fallen king asked with a hint of fear and confusion.

What was he saying again..? Oh right those blue eyes, those metallic azure eyes like the sky.. like light.. like hope. I realized I was an inch closer to him in a blink of an eye. I couldn't find my voice. Here was Mordred. Mordred with magic! A druid! I am not alone! He is here at this very second!

"Mordred" I breathed half-scared. Umm scared is the right word, really. I'm afraid that if I move an inch closer or breath a word louder.. he will disappear like a fog. Like a freaking hallucination.. or a dream .. a nightmare.

He smiled. That beaming smile. I swore I too felt myself smile for the first time in years, I felt warm tears flood over my cheecks. He is here! I held his face carefully. I saw a tint of a blush under his porcelain cheeks. Oh my boy! My light, my hope! My friend! And we will be together hand in hand when we conquer this self-righteous world and turn it into ours.

*plump* Ugh stupid snow fell on me. I threw a couple of latin curses at the snow like a maniac and tripped again.. *sigh* No more.. no more walking. I swore I've seen a couple of weather spells in that book Morgause gave me but my mind is even frozen at the moment.. the sky isn't even blue anymore. Just a shade of gray.. pale gray. And then sleep just came upon me no matter how hard I try to fight it off.

I now .. (It is Arthur's voice again but different) .. Sir Mordred (He sounds at ease with firm determination) .. of Camelot (Of Camelot?! No! no!)

Reaching for that figure kneeling in front of Arthur, my arms simply could not reach for those shoulders. I felt like ripping those cursed fabrics of red and burn! Burn them all! Noo! No! I yelled and yelled at the top of my lungs to cause an uproar and stop this this madness!

"Morgana!" firm hands shook me off of my nightmare. My eyes flew open. My breathing hard "Oh god Ana not again!" the hands that shook me suddenly enveloped me around his arms in a hug. I don't know why but I've let myself calm down in his arms. Inhaling his scent somehow calms me down.

"GWAINE?!" I suddenly realized his identity when I pulled away.

"Yes?" his eyebrow shot up at me. I stood as fast as I could with my shoulders squared backing away from him. Eyeing him cautiously for any offensive attack.

"What are you doing?" he tried to supress a laugh. Tried to.

"Gwaine." I repeated his name again with disdain in my tone.

"Ana?" he replied with a playful tone. My eyebrows shot together. Gwaine likes games. He always found something amusing in the most torturous challenge he's in.

I held my chin up gaining my composure and smiled a wicked smile. Trying to match his level of composure to figure out what his plans are. He looked different. He wore brown hiking boots, his v-neck shirt and and pants. He looked like a peasant. "Arthur finally gave you away from flirting with his servant queen?"

He sighed. Not a bad sigh but an exhausted she's-so-cute sigh "It's been a long day, Ana. Come on," with a reach of his hand, mine suddenly moved toward it.. like I needed it. And when his hand touched mine, all the tension fled away.. my breathing normal and I felt myself tired and exhausted.

Gwaine started to walk. Maybe towards somewhere dangerous.. a trap. But I simply didn't care because for the first time in years I felt what peace is like. I am now empty and lightweight.

"Let's go home baby" My eyes flew upward to his broad shoulders and I swear I notice a hint of a relieved smile in his figure.  
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"What Exactly is this?"  
Gwaine made me sit in the most outrageous piece of crap ever.

"Ana, baby, we've talked about this. I know you're completely confident about your fitness but we've had a deal that once something goes wrong, we go home." he pulled a switch and stepped on something and somehow this gigantic machine roared to life. "Here."

"..and this is?"

"something to calm you down.."

Huh? He's giving me opium? drugs?

"I don't what you're into, Gwaine. I may be the one trying to kill people but I assure you these thin-" the machine started moving forward.

Ohmygod! Quasso! the door beside me crumbled open. My feet ran on a sprint desperate to find something familiar to set my eyes on. Where am I? I see large tall pillars raised everywhere. Everywhere!

Okay okay calm down. Humming a tune, closing my eyes, envisioning myself passed out in the snow. .

Ugh! Noisy crowd, blinking lights, endless chattering.. the world begins to swirl everytime I try to blink my eyes. Blurry. More and more blurry.. everytime I try to blink my eyesight straight then my chest starts to feel.. heavy. It beats like hell I feel like it's trying to get out of my breasts.. out of my rib cage. It beat again. This time more painful. My knees went weak and before I knew it I'm on the ground touching the cold damp floor. A lot of people bumped over me. They didn't stop. They just moved. Am I invisible?

Then I heard and echo.. of my name "Morgana!"

The world is starting to get darker and darker .. "Morganaa!"

My heart.. its beating. Rapidly. Strongly. It hurts..  



End file.
